Portal

System: PC
Publisher: Steam
Price: $20 for standalone, $50 as part of The Orange Box compilation

What do you get when you combine hilarious, random voice-overs; mind- and physics-bending gameplay; and entertaining puzzles? You get Portal, one of the best games out in the past few months.

Originally part of The Orange Box, a compilation of first-person shooter games released by Steam/Valve, the standalone version of Portal is incredibly enjoyable. The graphics are well-done but simple — my completely non-gaming PC loaded and ran the game just fine. (I couldn't have the graphics up to the highest settings and the load times took a while, but the in-game sequences were nearly flawless.)

You play the game as a participant in what seems to be a research program for Aperture Laboratories, testing the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device or "portal gun." This allows you to fire blue and orange portals that connect different surfaces within the game. Meaning if there is a pit between you and the door, simply fire a portal across the gap, open one up beneath your feet, and you're there. The real fun comes when you mix and match horizontal and vertical surfaces with your portals — the camera re-orients so that "down" is down whenever you exit a portal, so playing the game can be a pretty eye-wrenching and mind-blowing experience. You can even create infinite loops (placing one portal directly over the top of another) and create do-it-yourself bottomless pits.

The controls follow your general PC first-person shooter scheme: You move forward, backward, right, and left using the W, A, S, and D keys, respectively. The E key allows you to interact with objects (such as picking up a radio or opening a door). Looking around and aiming and firing your portal gun is done with the mouse — left mouse button fires a blue portal, right an orange. The controls are tight and responsive, something you would expect from the company that made Half-Life and Team Fortress 2.

The only downside to the game is the length. There are only nineteen levels, and I was able to finish the game within a week. (And by finish I mean go through all 19 levels.) There are some different modes that lengthen out the game a bit, but they're either rehashes of puzzles you've already solved or maps made by the player community. The lack of length makes the $20 you have to shell out for the game seem a bit high, but it is ultimately worth it. Hopefully, Steam will bring the price down in the near future, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Score: 9.3
A great game, but the lack of length makes the price seem higher.

Final Fantasy XI

System: PC
Publisher: Square-Enix
Cost: $20–30, plus $12.95 each month thereafter

When I first posted a review of Final Fantasy XI, I was needlessly harsh — mostly because I was uninformed. I had not taken a deep enough look into the mechanics of the gameplay to get a real idea of the pros and cons of the systems involved. So, I delved back into the realms of Vana'Diel once more (for at least a couple of hours, not considering the time spent watching the helpful orientation videos on the FFXI website). And still, I was unimpressed.

I could chalk it up to the six-year-old graphics. But they don't look bad, just dated. I could say it was the console-style controls on a PC that left me cold. But they weren't that hard to get used to. I could even talk about the lack of user-friendliness in quests and such. But that was a minor irritation. Even the Final Fantasy-standard "new world, new story" idea that left me with a blank slate kind of feeling didn't rankle all that much.

To be honest, I think that it was just the order in which I've played MMOs that turned me off. See, I started out a while back on World of Warcraft — Warcraft, with its relatively smooth and new-looking graphics; Warcraft with its controls built for a PC instead of a PS2; Warcraft with its user-friendly interface and rich, detailed, and well developed world. The comparison is what caused the problems. And because of this comparison, I was unimpressed with my FFXI experience.

If I had played Everquest or Star Wars Galaxies or any number of other "old-gen" MMORPGs before I played FFXI, I would have heralded the "new" game and lauded it's many wonderfulnesses. But a retro-gamer, I am not, so Vana'Diel is not somewhere I plan on adventuring, not when I can visit the better-rendered climes of Azeroth.

Overall, though, FFXI isn't a bad game, if you can leave your expectations at the door. The class system, actually, is something I wish were included in WoW. Having the standard White Mage, Black Mage, Warrior, Thief, etc. was something that I really enjoyed. (There's no dual-classing or terribly jack-of-all-trades classes in WoW. There are hybrids, but not the kind of specialization or customization available in FFXI.) And being able to change your class on the fly is nice. Rather than re-rolling a character and choosing a new class, you can just visit your Mog House and pick a different primary and secondary job. Now, you do start all of the jobs at level 1, so taking a level 34 Warrior back to a level 1 Black Mage may stymie your efforts, but if you really want to do it, the option is open to you.

Leveling appears much more grind-centric than quest-based — something that I find difficult. I'm not a grind-gamer, and not being able to easily locate quest-givers (or -receivers) made it difficult for me to continue playing. But the in-battle menus are standard fare for a Final Fantasy addict like me. Attack, Magic, Skill, Item. I can understand that. The command menu is easy to navigate and when you don't want it there, it gets out of the way. The screen can get cluttered, though, because of the low resolution of the graphics and the size of the menu and information bars.

Overall, Final Fantasy XI is a passable MMORPG based on the proven Final Fantasy method, but because it sticks so closely to that market-tested formula, it seems a little stale after all these years. The monthly fee is a little bit lower, as are the system requirements, so if you're looking for something that your budget and decent PC can handle, this may be your option. Just don't let your modern expectations get in the way.

Score: 7.5 out of 10
Not a bad game, but not one that measures up to today's standards.

News from Red Tie Guy

Well, I've had to revamp my review paradigm a little bit. Partly because the 3-rating system was inherently flawed, but mostly because my 10-month-old son destroyed the previous hard drive in my laptop — where all of my graphics and files were stored. (Red Tie Guy Tip: Do NOT allow an infant to pound his hands on the portion of your computer containing the hard disk, especially while you are using the computer.)

So, you won't see any fancy graphics for a while. I need to find the time/patience to remake them, and I'm instituting an "x out of 10" rating system. (Boring and cliché, I know, but it works.)

And now, without further ado, my (revamped) first (revamped) review …